Its a Marauders Party!
by tkdgirl2014
Summary: just a bunch of ramblings of the lives of the famous Marauders:) not ment to be serious just hope to make you laugh.:) Some old stories from an old account and continuing on with that
1. Broke My Toilet

**Broke My Toliet**

Sirius and James were giggling around the room. If you ever asked them they never giggled until they were so drunk they couldn't remember anything the next day.

"Jamies-Poo you should keep going after Lilypad and never ever ever…"

"Padfoot?"

"Prongs…I think I broke the toilet."

"HOW COULD YOU! YOU BROKE MY TOILET!"

Right then Remus barges being the only sober one to find the toilet lid was only shut. What he did in his past life to deal with this he would never know.


	2. Disney Princess Time!

**Disney Princess**

Today was a day that Lily liked to call, "Lazy Day." They had won the game yesterday and she hardly had a voice. She was ahead of her studies and while she could study some more she decided she would give herself a day off. She felt very empowering today for some odd reason.

She would set up her TV and VCR player and watch whatever her mood reflected. She would love to watch those who never seen either watch whatever movie she placed in.

She had already set up everything when the Marauders came downstairs. She was tackled by Sirius who was sure this time he would get his choice even if Lily hated him. He just had to make sure she didn't have her wand and he stood out of the way for her left hook. He didn't want to have to go ask Remus to cure his bruises from Lily again.

"I choose… this one!" he shouted at the top of his lungs holding up Lady and the Tramp.

"I want to watch Bambi!" James shot back.

"Well I think we should watch Little Mermaid. I mean it is a classic and who doesn't love to sing along…" Remus faded off. They all just stared while Lily popped in Mulanand grumbled about Alice taking her wand for a weekend because of her violence.


	3. Therapy:Cat Version

**Therapy**

Lily Evans was glad to be a girl. It meant her dorm was for the most part clean, well clean enough to walk through, unlike the Marauders' supposedly is. Although she didn't believe anyone's room could ever get as messy as they say theirs were. It also meant she and her dorm mates were as close as it came, and since she saw the true side of Severus, they became even closer.

Turning Potter down _again_ with the simple screaming no, she began to climb the stairs to her dorm. Walking in to her dorm she found her best mate, Alice Prewett, sitting on her bed having an intense stare-down with her cat Lucky. Alice was dressed in her basic Gryffindor uniform and her brown pixie cut hair had her signature blue tips. Alice was the child her grandmum wished upon her mum when she was a child. Lily absolutely adored Alice but she could be a bit strange.

Lucky was a grey cat that had intense gold eyes that seemed to stare into your soul. Lily had found her abandoned when Lucky was barely a week old. She had come to treat Lily as a mother . However, she didn't like many other people at all and for some reason it seamed as she could hold a grudge.

"Uh, Alice…what are you doing with my cat?" Lily began.

"Shh Lily. You're interupting my therapy session."

"What?"

"_Therapy_ Lily. You know the thing that Marlene and I about sent you to after you threw the knife across the room at Potter."

"Yeah I know what therapy is, but the big question is why are you giving my cat therapy?"

"Lily your cat hates me and we all three know that."

"All three?"

"Yes you, me, and Lucky. Now Lucky why do you hate me? Is it because I accidently stepped on your tail, or is it the fact that I threw you across the room in my sleep, or maybe the fact I was bored so I chased you for two hours straight?" Lucky hissed at Alice as if she not only understood but was remembering all of these times.

"Alice please stop giving my cat therapy. She obviously doesn't like it and the more you force it on her, the more it makes me think I need to send you to therapy, and don't think I won't!" Lily knew at this point they may be best mates but Alice was crazy for sure.

**Hey its Gracie here! I'm looking for someone to help me with my stories**** just message me if you would like to help.**


	4. Eyebrows

**Eyebrows**

The Marauders were sitting in their dorm lost in their own thoughts. Lily was of coarse on James's mind, Remus was thinking about the next full moon, Peter was thinking about how he could eat his Chocolate Frogs without having share, and Sirius was thinking about Marlene, like she had been for some weeks now.

They were all brought out of their thoughts when Frank came in with a huge grin on his face and plopped down on his bed and instantly fell asleep. The boys figured by the way that he was smiling that he finally gained the courage to ask Alice out.

James looked at his framed picture of Ariel that Lily had colored and gave to him. In the picture the mermaid had the same color of red hair that Lily did. Lily had even colored Ariel's eyes green. It was signed, "Love, Lily" It made him smile.

James was once again brought out of his little tirade of Lily when he noticed Sirius get out of his bed and sneak towards Frank. "Padfoot, what are you doing?" James asked, slightly worried for Frank.

"Shush Prongs. I invented a new spell and I want to try it out on Frank."

"Padfoot, I don't think we should," Remus piped in still sitting on his bed watching with a mix of amusement and worry.

"I think you should Padfoot. If you test it out on him you won't need to test it out on me," Peter said hopefully.

James was just standing to stop Sirius when Sirius pointed his wand at Frank and said, "incendere." With the word and a very flashy movement of Sirius's wand Frank's eyebrows caught on fire.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Frank shot up knocking Sirius over. He ran to the mirror and saw he now had no eyebrows and looked like a total freak. "Sirius I am going to kill you, bring you back to life, make you clean up the mess, and then kill you again," Frank said in a calm but deadly voice.

James, who was feeling as though he was stuck in his spot, finally regained his bearings. He turned to Sirius and said, "Mate, I'd run if I were you." And that is what Sirius did screaming into the night.


	5. Pixy Sticks

**Pixy Sticks**

The Marauders, Lily, Frank, Alice, and Marlene were in the Gryffindor common room. Lily was sitting so close to James she was basically on his lap. Everyone in the school including the teachers were placing bets on when they would finally go out, and who would ask out whom. Frank had his arm draped around Alice and Sirius matched him with Marlene.

It was around 3 a.m. and they were all jacked up on sugar. They had been laughing for so long the group had forgotten what they were laughing about. Lily thought that it been something that Peter had done or said. With the amount of muggle sodas and Pixy Sticks that they had consumed, they couldn't think straight.

Lily suddenly bumped into Sirius' arm and nocked over his Pixy Sticks all over the table. "Lily... you spilled my Pixy Sticks. What can I do now?" Sirius whined. He then got a very odd look on his face as if he was trying to solve the meaning of life. And before she knew it Sirius bent down and snorted the Pixy Stick. He sat up screaming his head off about it burning but being amazing. So of course everyone had to try.

When it got to be Lily's turn, she was nervous. Yes, she had been willing to try at first but looking at that purple line she felt her stomach flip. She was the good child; her homework was always done ahead of time, her clothes were always appropriate, and she had only kissed one boy. But lately she had been feeling something inside of her change. She wanted to try to live life to its fullest before she left school and had to face the war.

James voice brought her out of her thoughts. "Lily, do you want me to hold your hair?"

It was an odd question but then again she was with an odd group. How many people even think to snort Pixy Sticks? However, she knew right then she wouldn't trade this odd group for anything in the world. What fun is it to be a normal witch in the middle of a war? Lily also knew right then she wanted to always have her odd group of friends.


	6. The Beatles

**The Beatles**

"All you need is love!" Peter shouted for what seemed to be the millionth time. "Love, love, love…"

His roommates were getting very annoyed. Lily had turned Peter to the muggle band the Beatles. Peter had been singing every single one of their songs since then. And to top it all off Peter had the worst singing voice of all time. James had never heard something that sounded like Sirius's snores and a Mandrake had a baby; until Peter sung.

"Peter... Peter... PETER!" James yelled.

"What James? This better be important because right now you're ruining my mojo."

"Your mojo?"

"Yes, my mojo."

"Well Peter…it's just…I have a lot of work…"

"Go to the library."

"And…well…" James wasn't quite sure how to tell Peter his voice made him want to jump into the Black Lake and be eaten by the Giant Squid. "Well… I don't care for the Beatles."

Right then Remus barges in to the dorm apparently hearing the entire conversation and looked like he wanted to light James on fire. "THE BEATLES ARE THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO THE BLOODY MUGGLE AND WIZARDING WORLDS AND DON'T YOU EVER LET ME HEAR YOU SAY ANYTHING AGAINST IT!"

James had never seen Remus scream at someone over something so trivial, but he wasn't about to argue with him since his wand was across the room and Remus had a death grip on his wand. It was also close to Remus' "time of the month," and James didn't know if Remus or girls were scarier at their times. Either way, both scared him.


	7. PMS

**PMS**

Lily was miserable, even though she living in her Heads dorm she was still in cycle with her old roommates. That meant that there was five girls who, usually were the sweetest of people, were moody. And right now James Potter had crossed the redhead at the wrong time and place.

It began when she was lying in the Heads bathroom with her head on the floor. Lily had never been in this much pain before. It truly felt as though Cruciatus Curse was being constantly cursed at her lower stomach. She wanted to be done with this pain and left alone. Of course, this is when James came in.

"Lily! Are you ok? Do you need me to take you to the Hospital Wing? Did someone do this to you?" James asked, speaking quickly out of worry.

"JAMES! Please just shut up and get me the blue box out of my nightstand."

James rushed into Lily's room and found her night stand. As he ran back into the bathroom he was trying to figure out what the Merlin was Midol. He had no clue, until he read the back. He suddenly found his face growing as red as Lily's hair and found himself very uncomfortable. He handed her the box and a glass of water from the sink.

"Thanks James," Lily said, very grateful. "Can I ask you to do one more thing for me please?"

"Sure, Lily you know I'd do anything for you." Both teens blushed at James' corny, but cute, comment.

"Will you go fetch me some chocolate cake from the kitchen?"

"Umm… Lily I would but it is after curfew… and I am Head Boy…"

"JAMES IF I DON'T HAVE SOME CHOCOLATE CAKE IN TEN MINUTES SOMEONE WILL DIE AND MY GUESS IS IT WILL BE YOU!"

James had never seen anyone go from sick to loving to acting like a cat in a pool that fast. He was used to Lily exploding on him in the past but he thought they had been getting along better now. He also thought he knew a lot about time of the month from Remus but Remus never looked like he was going to slice his throat with a rusty knife. He decided he better get that cake and a glass of milk if he ever wanted to have children, and he better run fast.


	8. Tired of It

**Tired of It**

Sirius was tired of it. He had learned how to deal with a love struck James, but a love struck Lily was a different story. She would come up to Sirius and talk to him. It wasn't the normal chick giggle that he hated, but it was the type where he could tell she was actually trying to get to know him. He assumed it was to either get closer to James, or she knew something that would happen in the future that he could only suspect.

Sirius entered the Common Room and sat in his favorite chair by the fire, only to plop down on a something. Sirius jumped up to see a crushed Lily with her flaming red hair splayed everywhere and her green eyes filled with a mix of hate and something else looking straight past Sirius. Sirius turned around trying to find the source of this hate and found James sitting in the corner with a pretty 5th year.

"You know he's just tutoring her right?" Sirius asked Lily sitting on the arm of her chair.

"Yeah that might be what he's doing, but that bimbo hasn't learned a single thing since they started." Lily snarled.

Sirius had never seen Lily look at anyone besides James with that much hate but there was another emotion he saw. Was that emotion, jealousy? He was tired of it, Lily and James needed to get together soon before he went crazy. He saw a plan forming inside his head. Sirius was going to need Remus, Peter, Frank, some house-elves, some rope, a muggle stereo, and some Peppermint Imps. This was going to be a good plan.

Before he could even begin to look for any of this, Lily stood up in a huff and stormed over to James and the girl. She stood directly in front of them and slammed her hands down on the desk. "Listen chick," Lily said with such an attitude that Sirius grew appreciation for her, "I don't know what you think you're doing but he clearly isn't interested so go take your stick straight hair, clown makeup, and trying too hard clothes back to your room. I really don't think James would mind since you obviously haven't learned a single thing of Charms. Oh and next time, wear more clothes because I don't want the First Years scarred for life." Lily finished with her voice going into a deadly whisper that Sirius had to lean in to hear.

The girl gave Lily a death glare that Lily held back with surprising force. The 5th year finally got up from her chair, grabbed her book and tried to shoulder bump Lily when she walked by. Lily; however, was standing so firm that the girl left to her room rubbing her shoulder.

"And you," Lily said turning to James with a look of irritation and a voice that if it went much higher only bats would hear, "I knew that you were oblivious, but are you really that dense not to notice that the girl was flirting with you? You obviously have no clue when a girl is trying to get you to ask her out! I'm tired of it! A girl can sit there and try and try to get your attention but no, you have to be oblivious to when a girl likes you!"

James finally shut Lily up when he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into a kiss. Sirius was glad that Lily finally stopped screeching' but he could deal without his brother and Lily kissing in the middle of the Common Room. He turned his back to the happy couple to grab a piece of chocolate cake lying on the coffee table.

"Go with me to Hogsmeade?" he heard James ask.

"Of course," Lily said with a slight giggle.


	9. The First Date

**The First Date**

Lily was in a panic attack mode. Despite what Alice and Marlene said, none of her clothes looked right, her hair looked horrible, and she had a huge zit on her chin. Of course this would happen on her first date with James.

Lily was throwing clothes out of her closet looking for a decent outfit. That was until Marlene grabbed a pair of jeans that made her legs look sky-high, a green faded shirt that made her eyes pop, and a faded white hoodie. Alice curled her hair and applied a very light touch of makeup.

When Lily met James in the Great Hall, she knew that her crazy morning was worth the stress. She had never seen James' eyes pop out of his head like that. It gave Lily a warm, fuzzy feeling that she could do that. The walk to Hogsmeade was very nice, even though they'd been spending so much time together, they never ran out of things to talk about. When James asked her where she wanted to go she decided to play a little game.

"Let's go to Madam Puddifoot's. I hear that they got even frillier from last time. I want to see the cute little bows!" Lily said, trying to keep a serious face.

James looked at her like she was from a different planet. He let out a small shudder and said something Lily wasn't expecting, "Sure, whatever you want Lily."

At this time Lily burst into laughter no longer able to control the funniness of the whole thing. It took her close to a minute of uncontrolled laughter and James looking at her like she had a second head for her to calm down. "James, I don't care where we go. As long as they don't shove pink down your throat I don't care."

James gave her a look of utter admiration. Lily knew that no date had ever tried messing with him like she had managed to. It made her proud.

The two of them walked around Hogsmeade laughing and hitting every shop. James bought Lily her favorite candy, Peppermint Imps. They went to Three Broomsticks and James paid for their lunch and Butterbeers, much to Lily's protest, even though she was impressed by how much of a gentleman he was.

They returned back to Hogwarts and with those stupid grins on their face. Right before they left to go to bed Lily gave James a sweet little kiss that had tingles going through both of their bodies.


	10. Find Out Who Your Friends Are

**Find Out Who Your Friends Are**

News that James and Lily were finally dating was not taken well by most of the female population. Lily was constantly getting glares from just about every girl and even some of the guys. She knew that James was popular but never thought it would turn out like this when they dated.

Lily was walking to one of her few classes that James was not in. All of the sudden she heard someone yell her name from across the hall.

"Lily," a fellow 7th year Hufflepuff named Haley yelled, "I noticed you've gain some weight." Haley said loud enough for everyone to hear. "Hey, little piggy, look at me when I talk to you. You know James won't date a porker so might as well get in line with all the girls who weren't right for him," Haley said with a smirk on her face, hips jutted out, and loving the attention that was on her.

Lily was usually known for her temper and would have hexed her but the fire seemed to be gone from her. She knew she had gained some weight, but that just made her figure look better. She knew she had her flaws but never thought someone would scream this across a filled hallway. Lily had to fight back the tears trying just to disappear when she saw a flash of long, straight, black hair run in front of her.

"Hey Haley," Sirius yelled right back with a nasty look on his face, "I know you're jealous of Lily since she got the guy and they won't break up. But really did you think you ever stood a chance with James? We all know he loves Lily. Oh yeah, if you ever try to mess with our Lily again, I will make sure that we all find out about the wonderful time at the Christmas party," Sirius finished with a nasty smirk on his face and standing protectively in front of Lily.

Sirius turned around to look at her with a look of caring Lily had only seen him give the Marauders. "Lily, don't listen to a word anyone says against you. You are a beautiful, strong, amazing girl no matter what anyone says." Sirius said in a soft voice.

"Thanks Sirius, it's nice to know that I've got friends to be there for me," Lily said gratefully.

"Hey, you are James' first serious girlfriend that we all like; consider yourself an honoree sister in a group of brothers." Sirius said engulfing Lily in a bear hug.

Lily pulled back and said, "Oh and by the way you have to tell me what happened at the Christmas party that could make that little skink blue like that."

"My pleasure."


	11. Too Good For ME

**Too Good For Me**

**(Just to warn you there is some language in this chapter) **

Lily was going to their tree. The tree where everything good had happened between her and James. Where he officially asked her to be his girlfriend, where he gave her the emerald necklace that she never takes off, and they snuck out after curfew to watch the stars. She wanted to simply sit there and enjoy the beautiful day.

It was going to be all fine until she saw James there with a very distant look on his face.

"James, is everything ok?" Lily asked quietly.

"Lily, we have to break up." James said glumly.

Lily just stood there feeling the tears coming to her face. "Ha-Ha James, very funny. Now serious what's up?"

"I'm not kidding Lily. We have to break up."

Lily stood there for a couple seconds that really felt like minutes. Then came the tears. Then came the anger that she was so known for. "WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL JAMES? YOU CHASE AFTER ME FOR THREE YEARS AND THEN WHEN I FINALLY FALL FOR YOU, YOU BREAK UP WITH ME!"

James just sat there and let her scream at him which just made Lily even madder. "AND YOU WON'T EVEN GIVE ME A REASON WILL YOU, YOU ASS HAT? YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST DUMP ME? I WAS JUST ANOTHER GAME TO YOU WASN'T I? THAT'S ALL I'VE EVER BEEN!"

Something in James finally snapped and he stood up to fight back. "YOU THINK YOU WERE A GAME? GOD LILY, I LOVE YOU AND ALL BUT SOMETIMES YOU REALLY ARE THICK! WE CAN'T DATE BECAUSE YOUR TOO GOOD FOR ME DAMNIT! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT? YOU ALWAYS HAVE BEEN TOO GOOD FOR ME AND YOU DESERVE SO MUCH MORE!"

Both stood there breathing heavy, tears in their eyes, staring at each other intensely like if they were to look away, the entire world would fall apart.

"You think I'm too good for you?" Lily whispered.

"Of course! Everyone knows that and I'm sure that you even know that."  
"James, you may possibly be the most ridiculous person I've ever met. You can be an ass, you can be a total jerk, but you are also the only jerky ass I want to be with and don't you ever think differently."

Both met each other in an intense embrace and just stood there hugging each other, both with tears flowing down their face. They didn't even notice the crowd they had gathered to watch. They burst into applause and it was like some cheesy movie that Lily always made James watch.

Lily pulled away thinking back to what James yelled at her. "Wait, you love me?"


End file.
